A memorable recap from Matthew Walther of The Week describes “fear and loathing” at Hillary Clinton’s book tour.
During the talk in Ann Arbor, Michigan, Clinton continued to blame everyone under the sun for her 2016 election loss, including conservatives, liberals, Bernie Sanders, American democracy, Russian interference, and even conspiracy trolls on Reddit.
She told a crowd of 3500 people that she does not accept the legitimacy of her election loss, that Bernie Sanders supporters are sexist against women, and that the Electoral College should be abolished.
She also said that America should consider itself in a new “Cold War” with Russia.
Walther, a left-leaning, anti-war journalist, mocks Clinton for the selfish, unhinged, bitter, war-mongering and literally insane tripe she is peddling:
She also insisted that James Comey — who has apparently gone from being the sensible public servant who refused to recommend charges over the handling of her “damned emails” to the villain of the October press conference to the selfless note-taking hero of the Russia investigation to being an election-rigging monster again — did her in with unnamed female suburban voters who would otherwise have sworn her allegiance as a matter of course.
But what she thinks really sealed her fate with undecided voters was a conspiracy theory surrounding child molestation and human sacrifice and the Illuminati at Comet Ping Pong, a pizza parlor in Washington, D.C. Call me crazy, but I think that anyone willing to believe on the basis of a Reddit thread that one of your chief pleasures in life is sitting down with your friends to eat yeasted flatbread made from the corpses of kidnapped rape victims in the basement of a D.C. restaurant has probably already made up his mind about you one way or the other.
But anyway, Clinton intoned in Michigan, the Electoral College should be abolished. After all, we are in the midst of a “new Cold War,” she warned, reminding all four of us who did not applaud enthusiastically why the prospect of a Clinton presidency was always terrifying. WikiLeaks, she said, “is a wholly owned subsidiary of Russian intelligence,” which may or may not be true. If so, maybe she should ask President Obama to explain his decision to commute the sentence of that noted Putinist hardliner Chelsea Manning.
Even the perfect storm of phantom missing voters, Igor’s premium Twitter ads, Comey’s partisan treachery, obviously credible-sounding rumors about victims of ritual slaughter disguised as pepperoni, and the wholly unexpected advent of the pesky Electoral College in the midst of Cold War II is not exhaustive of the reasons why Clinton believes she really should be sitting in the White House right now. It’s also the left’s fault, you see.
Clinton said that, like the alt right, the “far left,” by which she seemed to mean supporters of Sen. Bernie Sanders, are basically all misogynists. “They say they don’t have a problem with all women, just this one woman. Then who is a woman they will support?” I don’t know, Madame Secretary, maybe Jill Stein, the preferred candidate of the hippie outside the auditorium who was handing out pamphlets calling you a war criminal? Elizabeth Warren? Rosa DeLauro? Someone who, you know, actually represents their views and does not think reinstating Glass-Steagall would be pointless and actually sees the downside of deliberately escalating tensions with major foreign powers who share our commitment to defeating ISIS.
I hope that Clinton was telling the truth when she made her umpteenth joke about how she drinks a ton of wine these days.
Let’s keep her drunk, America. Otherwise Hillary may end up shooting at crowds in Las Vegas soon.